It's been so long since I've written, I hardly know what to say!
Besides "time flies while you're having fun!" there are zillions of other quotes about time. We all seem to want more time. "There's no time like the present". There's a regular piece called "Tid Bits" in the local paper that asks "prominent" members of the community ice breaker type questions one of which is "I wish I had..." It seems to me that 9 times out of 10 the interviewee says "time"!
Why do we want more time? Is it for the same reason we all seem to want bigger houses and more stuff to put in them? Are we just greedy? I was thinking about this the other day and came to the conclusion that if I had more time, I'd just fill it with more of the stuff that I fill my time with now. I think we kid ourselves into thinking that if we had more time, we'd prioritize it and save it for the good things. I don't think so.
The answer is not more time. What we need it less to do. We'd have more time for the good stuff if we stopped filling our lives with junk!
We try to make more time by creating and adhering to a schedule. We block time off for work, practices, games, meetings, etc. and rarely write-in play time, bike rides, dinner with friends, time to sit and talk to our spouses or just time to sit.
When I look at my calendar, it is often very full. When I get to a blank day, I wonder what it will be like. Those days are often also full, not of scheduled errands and tasks, but of hanging out, sitting, playing, etc.
So I will strive to insert more blank days into my calendar because letting the blanks fill in themselves works better for me.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
thyroid
Another draft article for submission to yummy mommy club for their health & fitness edition in July.
My thyroid doesn't work properly. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism (under-active thyroid) about 6 months after my daughter was born, but I'm pretty sure it was under-active for a while before that. I now take a tiny pill every day first thing in the morning to make up for my malfunctioning gland.
There are many signs and symptoms of thyroid disease and it affects an alarming number of Canadian women. I've heard statistics like 1-in-4 women in Canada are affected by thyroid disease and that thyroid cancer has reached an epidemic. However, I haven't been able to verify this information with my own research because there is no national campaign for public awareness. Plus, I haven't been able to find any evidence of research to find out why thyroid disease is on the rise or how it can be prevented.
Hypothyroidism is not life-threatening in the literal sense, but it is life altering. Hyperthyroidism (over-active thyroid) can be more dangerous - including a risk of heart attack!
The thyroid gland is butterfly-shaped located in our throats. It functions to regulate all systems in our bodies. Symptoms of a malfunctioning thyroid include fatigue, weight gain, hair thinning, sensitivity to cold, insomnia, anxiety, depression, decreased sex-drive, a swollen gland or nodules, etc.
If you have hyperthyroidism, one of the treatments is radiation depending on the severity of the condition. The treatment for hypothyroid is a pill. Unfortunately, the pill is not an one-size-fits-all answer. It takes 8-12 weeks to see the results of the synthetic thyroid in a blood test and then the dosage has to be adjusted. Wait another 3 months for a test... it can take anywhere from 3 months to 2 years to get the right dose meanwhile symptoms may subtlety improve during this time. There is also some controversy over alternative medications.
It's not easy to live with thyroid disease. Talk about an invisible illness! No one can see your malfunctioning gland and unless they have thyroid disease themselves or know someone who does, it is hard to understand how difficult day-to-day life can be and the adjustments that have to be made over time to accommodate the lack of energy and other symptoms.
I am fortunate because my mom and grandfather both have hypothyroidism. They are both supportive and informative about what to expect when even health professionals don't. My doctor seems sympathetic, but is reluctant to refer me to an endocrinologist or to try anything other than the traditional medication. Information online can be helpful, but is primarily from the USA. There are discussion groups where people post their experiences.
If you have tried everything to be healthy - regular exercise, change in diet, etc. - and still feel fat and exhausted, ask your doctor about a simple blood test to find out if your thyroid is functioning properly. If it isn't, be patient and find out as much as you can about your condition so that you can get back to feeling good again!
online resources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thyroid
http://thyroid.about.com/
http://thyroid.erfa.net/
My thyroid doesn't work properly. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism (under-active thyroid) about 6 months after my daughter was born, but I'm pretty sure it was under-active for a while before that. I now take a tiny pill every day first thing in the morning to make up for my malfunctioning gland.
There are many signs and symptoms of thyroid disease and it affects an alarming number of Canadian women. I've heard statistics like 1-in-4 women in Canada are affected by thyroid disease and that thyroid cancer has reached an epidemic. However, I haven't been able to verify this information with my own research because there is no national campaign for public awareness. Plus, I haven't been able to find any evidence of research to find out why thyroid disease is on the rise or how it can be prevented.
Hypothyroidism is not life-threatening in the literal sense, but it is life altering. Hyperthyroidism (over-active thyroid) can be more dangerous - including a risk of heart attack!
The thyroid gland is butterfly-shaped located in our throats. It functions to regulate all systems in our bodies. Symptoms of a malfunctioning thyroid include fatigue, weight gain, hair thinning, sensitivity to cold, insomnia, anxiety, depression, decreased sex-drive, a swollen gland or nodules, etc.
If you have hyperthyroidism, one of the treatments is radiation depending on the severity of the condition. The treatment for hypothyroid is a pill. Unfortunately, the pill is not an one-size-fits-all answer. It takes 8-12 weeks to see the results of the synthetic thyroid in a blood test and then the dosage has to be adjusted. Wait another 3 months for a test... it can take anywhere from 3 months to 2 years to get the right dose meanwhile symptoms may subtlety improve during this time. There is also some controversy over alternative medications.
It's not easy to live with thyroid disease. Talk about an invisible illness! No one can see your malfunctioning gland and unless they have thyroid disease themselves or know someone who does, it is hard to understand how difficult day-to-day life can be and the adjustments that have to be made over time to accommodate the lack of energy and other symptoms.
I am fortunate because my mom and grandfather both have hypothyroidism. They are both supportive and informative about what to expect when even health professionals don't. My doctor seems sympathetic, but is reluctant to refer me to an endocrinologist or to try anything other than the traditional medication. Information online can be helpful, but is primarily from the USA. There are discussion groups where people post their experiences.
If you have tried everything to be healthy - regular exercise, change in diet, etc. - and still feel fat and exhausted, ask your doctor about a simple blood test to find out if your thyroid is functioning properly. If it isn't, be patient and find out as much as you can about your condition so that you can get back to feeling good again!
online resources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thyroid
http://thyroid.about.com/
http://thyroid.erfa.net/
Thursday, June 3, 2010
worship
Since moving to New Brunswick, I have become a regular church-goer. In fact, I have been employed by the church for over a month now as their part-time secretary. I like going to church. I really enjoy discussions about faith, the history of religion and think of myself as a spiritual being. However, I don't call myself a Christian. I find the label too restrictive.
I believe in God. Not so much as a father, but as the intangible force that unites us all. I believe in freedom of religion insofar as we should all have the right to practice our beliefs as we see fit - as long as we harm no one else.
Worship is one way to describe religious practice. It's a difficult word for me. I don't feel that I am worshiping at church. I can talk to God anywhere, anytime. I go to church to be with other people to join hands in faith. To recognize that we all need each other and are social as well as spiritual beings.
The word worship evokes the idea of idolatry to me. Like hero-worship. Celebrity worship, etc. Admiring, idolizing, seeing someone or something as worthy of worship.
That's why when people decide not to come to church saying "I worship on the green" when they golf on Sundays, it fits.
I believe in God. Not so much as a father, but as the intangible force that unites us all. I believe in freedom of religion insofar as we should all have the right to practice our beliefs as we see fit - as long as we harm no one else.
Worship is one way to describe religious practice. It's a difficult word for me. I don't feel that I am worshiping at church. I can talk to God anywhere, anytime. I go to church to be with other people to join hands in faith. To recognize that we all need each other and are social as well as spiritual beings.
The word worship evokes the idea of idolatry to me. Like hero-worship. Celebrity worship, etc. Admiring, idolizing, seeing someone or something as worthy of worship.
That's why when people decide not to come to church saying "I worship on the green" when they golf on Sundays, it fits.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
meat
I didn't expect it to be so easy to wean my family off meat. Of course, we've all been sick with the stomach "flu" this week so not really wanting to eat anyway.
We usually eat meat every day. I've been trying to exclude meat once per week opting for fish or just going vegetarian altogether. This applies only to supper for now although I've been trying to omit meat from my other meals too.
I'm not sure if it'll be easier or harder in the summer. We use the barbecue whenever possible, but being so busy through the week, it's usually on weekends. So I proposed to eat meat only on the weekends... and Frank went for it!
The reasons for going meatless are partly dietary and partly environmental and partly financial. When we do eat meat, we tend to eat too much of it. It's hard to maintain portion control with a juicy steak staring at you! We know that large commercial farms are bad for the environment in many ways (the earth, the air, the hormones, etc.) Plus it's way cheaper to buy beans and tofu!
My sister has been vegetarian for a long time so you'd think I would have plenty of meal ideas ready to go. Well, I'm sure the meat habit can be broken and eventually I will have plenty of vegetarian meals up my sleeve. So far I've substituted beans for meat with pasta, served fish once per week, made chickpea curry instead of chicken or beef, and made tofu stir-fry. It's all been good, but I don't want to be too repetitive. Soups would be easy except that my family doesn't like soup as a meal :(
Anyway, it's going well and I hope that when we're all better, we can stick to it! The trick may be that Frank and I are the only ones who know the plan...heeheehee
We usually eat meat every day. I've been trying to exclude meat once per week opting for fish or just going vegetarian altogether. This applies only to supper for now although I've been trying to omit meat from my other meals too.
I'm not sure if it'll be easier or harder in the summer. We use the barbecue whenever possible, but being so busy through the week, it's usually on weekends. So I proposed to eat meat only on the weekends... and Frank went for it!
The reasons for going meatless are partly dietary and partly environmental and partly financial. When we do eat meat, we tend to eat too much of it. It's hard to maintain portion control with a juicy steak staring at you! We know that large commercial farms are bad for the environment in many ways (the earth, the air, the hormones, etc.) Plus it's way cheaper to buy beans and tofu!
My sister has been vegetarian for a long time so you'd think I would have plenty of meal ideas ready to go. Well, I'm sure the meat habit can be broken and eventually I will have plenty of vegetarian meals up my sleeve. So far I've substituted beans for meat with pasta, served fish once per week, made chickpea curry instead of chicken or beef, and made tofu stir-fry. It's all been good, but I don't want to be too repetitive. Soups would be easy except that my family doesn't like soup as a meal :(
Anyway, it's going well and I hope that when we're all better, we can stick to it! The trick may be that Frank and I are the only ones who know the plan...heeheehee
work
I can't believe how easy it's been to go back to work! I've been dreading it for over a year now. Agonizing over what I would do and how I would find a job that doesn't take over my life. And then... a job fell into my lap. I wasn't even looking for it. In fact, I had been telling myself it would be ok to wait another 2 years until Lilly went to school to look for work.
Now I work part-time, set my own hours and it feels wonderful!
It's even more amazing that I was able to find a terrific babysitter right away! She's kind, very thoughtful and generous. She cares about my kids and has lots of patience. Plus she lives close to home!
I really didn't expect to be working yet or that it would be so easy. I am deeply thankful.
Now I work part-time, set my own hours and it feels wonderful!
It's even more amazing that I was able to find a terrific babysitter right away! She's kind, very thoughtful and generous. She cares about my kids and has lots of patience. Plus she lives close to home!
I really didn't expect to be working yet or that it would be so easy. I am deeply thankful.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
tights
My daughter has discovered the transformative qualities of a dress.
It started with the tights. After selecting and returning three other pairs of socks to the drawer, she chose some tights. I suggested that they wouldn't be comfortable over her pants so she took them off. I helped her pull the tights on, which incidentally have flowers on the legs and a butterfly on the bum, and convinced her to wear a dress with the tights. Once she pulled on the fuzzy dress with the plaid kitty on it, she declared: "I'm like a mommy! I'm bigger."
I know that feeling. Seems silly and somehow conflicts with my feminist sensibilities, but nevertheless, I understood what she was saying. It goes back to my preschool days when I only ever wanted to wear a dress. It felt good (except for when I had to put snow pants over it). I was dressing up.
I don't get the same feeling when I think of wearing tights these days, but there is a hint of it on the rare occasions when I'm getting ready to go out. Whether it's a date with my hubby or over to a friends for dinner, the process of selecting an outfit (hardly ever a dress), doing my hair and make-up generates a tiny spark of excitement. Internally I declare: "I'm like a woman!"
It started with the tights. After selecting and returning three other pairs of socks to the drawer, she chose some tights. I suggested that they wouldn't be comfortable over her pants so she took them off. I helped her pull the tights on, which incidentally have flowers on the legs and a butterfly on the bum, and convinced her to wear a dress with the tights. Once she pulled on the fuzzy dress with the plaid kitty on it, she declared: "I'm like a mommy! I'm bigger."
I know that feeling. Seems silly and somehow conflicts with my feminist sensibilities, but nevertheless, I understood what she was saying. It goes back to my preschool days when I only ever wanted to wear a dress. It felt good (except for when I had to put snow pants over it). I was dressing up.
I don't get the same feeling when I think of wearing tights these days, but there is a hint of it on the rare occasions when I'm getting ready to go out. Whether it's a date with my hubby or over to a friends for dinner, the process of selecting an outfit (hardly ever a dress), doing my hair and make-up generates a tiny spark of excitement. Internally I declare: "I'm like a woman!"
Thursday, April 22, 2010
scrap
I was going to post "scrap booking", but then thought "scrap" covered more and is one word.
So how does scrap affect my life? Well, there's scrap paper - created when my kids find the printer paper and draw on one side, scraps - fed to my dog from my kids' plates - and various scraps of things floating around the house after falling victim to my kids' hands. To be fair scraps are mostly Lillian's work.
My favourite quilts are made from scrap. I tried the quilting thing quite a while ago. It's the solitary work I don't like. If there was a regular gathering to quilt, I'd do it. Especially since I can't really figure out how to fix my sewing mistakes or the machine when I bugger it up.
I'm going to a scrap booking event next month. It's not my very first time trying it out, but I'm hoping to learn more about it. Seems silly to need a class to figure it out, but I really do need a class. I have literally hundreds of photos packed into mini albums, envelopes and boxes to deal with. These are all mostly from before 2005 when I got my digital camera. At least with digital photos, you can keep them on discs (and never look at them again). I wonder how shocked everyone would be if I brought the whole lot to the class...
My photos are precious to me. I need to do something with them to ensure they are not ruined. I've had this in mind for a while, but it became urgent this morning when I found an album and Morgan's baby book in ruins. Lillian had managed to get her destructive and curious little hands on them and ripped them apart! Needless-to-say, I am very upset about this, but more motivated than ever to sort through my photos and do something with them before they are turned into scrap!
So how does scrap affect my life? Well, there's scrap paper - created when my kids find the printer paper and draw on one side, scraps - fed to my dog from my kids' plates - and various scraps of things floating around the house after falling victim to my kids' hands. To be fair scraps are mostly Lillian's work.
My favourite quilts are made from scrap. I tried the quilting thing quite a while ago. It's the solitary work I don't like. If there was a regular gathering to quilt, I'd do it. Especially since I can't really figure out how to fix my sewing mistakes or the machine when I bugger it up.
I'm going to a scrap booking event next month. It's not my very first time trying it out, but I'm hoping to learn more about it. Seems silly to need a class to figure it out, but I really do need a class. I have literally hundreds of photos packed into mini albums, envelopes and boxes to deal with. These are all mostly from before 2005 when I got my digital camera. At least with digital photos, you can keep them on discs (and never look at them again). I wonder how shocked everyone would be if I brought the whole lot to the class...
My photos are precious to me. I need to do something with them to ensure they are not ruined. I've had this in mind for a while, but it became urgent this morning when I found an album and Morgan's baby book in ruins. Lillian had managed to get her destructive and curious little hands on them and ripped them apart! Needless-to-say, I am very upset about this, but more motivated than ever to sort through my photos and do something with them before they are turned into scrap!
Monday, April 19, 2010
chocolate
How do I love chocolate?
Let me count the ways...
Boiling water added to 1/4 cup of milk plus 1 tablespoon cocoa powder plus 1 teaspoon sweetener.
Double layer chocolate cake that Frank brought home from the grocery store ("Lilly picked it!")
Girl Guide cookies (the vanilla ones are good, too).
Chocolate pudding.
Udderly Devine ice cream (Heavenly Hash is a good second option).
Green & Black's fair-trade, organic bar (any flavour).
Reese Peanut butter cups.
Cadbury Cream Egg (at Easter only).
Homemade truffles with cayenne pepper.
Brownies.
Chocolate mint Wuyi oolong tea (for when I'm trying hard to be good).
...and if nothing else is at hand, a handful of chocolate chips will do!
Let me count the ways...
Boiling water added to 1/4 cup of milk plus 1 tablespoon cocoa powder plus 1 teaspoon sweetener.
Double layer chocolate cake that Frank brought home from the grocery store ("Lilly picked it!")
Girl Guide cookies (the vanilla ones are good, too).
Chocolate pudding.
Udderly Devine ice cream (Heavenly Hash is a good second option).
Green & Black's fair-trade, organic bar (any flavour).
Reese Peanut butter cups.
Cadbury Cream Egg (at Easter only).
Homemade truffles with cayenne pepper.
Brownies.
Chocolate mint Wuyi oolong tea (for when I'm trying hard to be good).
...and if nothing else is at hand, a handful of chocolate chips will do!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
art
Art imitates life. Life imitates art. This means that anything in life can be turned into art and vice versa. Paintings made from coffee grounds. Movie stars' lives replicating the plot of their last movie. Criminals following the "instructions" from their favourite crime drama.
There was a radio program on CBC in the summer/fall that talked to artists creating work in non-traditional ways. It was very interesting. Either it's been cancelled or moved to a time when I don't have the radio on.
Finding the art in all things sounds like a lovely way to look at the world. That reminds me that I was going to pick up that "artist's way" book sometime. Did someone say they would lend it to me?
Art is present everywhere in life. We create it, read it, watch it, dance it, sing it, live it. It's not easy to see the art in Spongebob Squarepants, but I'm sure it's there. I mean who comes up with this stuff? At this moment, Lilly is watching a Spongebob video while Kenneth is playing the Spongebob video game. I know you must be thinking I'm a fabulous parent! Not to worry, we balance out our couch potato time with active time as much as possible. It's hard not to rely on TV, movies and video games for some peace while trying to get things done.
I'd like to get more performing arts into my life. I've thought about going to the local high school musicals and the amazing shows at the Imperial theatre, but haven't found the time, the money or another person to go with. If you're interested, let me know!
We all need art in our lives. Yet most of us put so little effort into making it a priority. Government at all levels is often criticized when they spend any amount of money on art. I guess it's less concrete than most other things we need and so hard to see the impact it has on us. Art has a communal existence. It needs us to exist. We have to experience it to appreciate it. It exists to be appreciated. We have a symbiotic relationship with art.
There was a radio program on CBC in the summer/fall that talked to artists creating work in non-traditional ways. It was very interesting. Either it's been cancelled or moved to a time when I don't have the radio on.
Finding the art in all things sounds like a lovely way to look at the world. That reminds me that I was going to pick up that "artist's way" book sometime. Did someone say they would lend it to me?
Art is present everywhere in life. We create it, read it, watch it, dance it, sing it, live it. It's not easy to see the art in Spongebob Squarepants, but I'm sure it's there. I mean who comes up with this stuff? At this moment, Lilly is watching a Spongebob video while Kenneth is playing the Spongebob video game. I know you must be thinking I'm a fabulous parent! Not to worry, we balance out our couch potato time with active time as much as possible. It's hard not to rely on TV, movies and video games for some peace while trying to get things done.
I'd like to get more performing arts into my life. I've thought about going to the local high school musicals and the amazing shows at the Imperial theatre, but haven't found the time, the money or another person to go with. If you're interested, let me know!
We all need art in our lives. Yet most of us put so little effort into making it a priority. Government at all levels is often criticized when they spend any amount of money on art. I guess it's less concrete than most other things we need and so hard to see the impact it has on us. Art has a communal existence. It needs us to exist. We have to experience it to appreciate it. It exists to be appreciated. We have a symbiotic relationship with art.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
identity
(as it flowed forth while driving home just now)
I am me.
Who else could I be?
Who am I to you?
Am I defined by what I do?
Or is it how we relate?
Your mommy or your date.
For you I'll do anything.
I can cook and I can sing.
Caretaker.
Bread maker.
There's always more...
Chores and errands galore!
Kisses on the knee.
Waiting-up impatiently.
Rocking in the chair.
Long walks in open air.
Saying no
When you don't know
That saying yes
Is not the best.
Fighting hard on your side.
Cheering loudly full of pride.
Always ready with arms stretched wide.
Inventing games for fun.
Tucking you in when day is done.
All these things I am.
Doing for you the best I can.
But what am I to me?
That is the quandary.
I am me.
Who else could I be?
I am me.
Who else could I be?
Who am I to you?
Am I defined by what I do?
Or is it how we relate?
Your mommy or your date.
For you I'll do anything.
I can cook and I can sing.
Caretaker.
Bread maker.
There's always more...
Chores and errands galore!
Kisses on the knee.
Waiting-up impatiently.
Rocking in the chair.
Long walks in open air.
Saying no
When you don't know
That saying yes
Is not the best.
Fighting hard on your side.
Cheering loudly full of pride.
Always ready with arms stretched wide.
Inventing games for fun.
Tucking you in when day is done.
All these things I am.
Doing for you the best I can.
But what am I to me?
That is the quandary.
I am me.
Who else could I be?
Friday, April 9, 2010
muse
I try very hard not to make this a mommy blog. This makes it tough sometimes to come up with a word. Since I'm looking for a muse, it's a good word for this blog.
Muse, inspiration, motivation...
My kids could be my muse. They force me to be creative. I have to come up with new ways to get them to cooperate with my plans other than screaming at the top of my lungs. Lately it's been bribery. That does backfire though when they expect a treat every time we go somewhere.
Housework could be my inspiration. I daily think of products that would make my chores easier. Of course, not having to do it at all would be the best!
What drives me everyday? my kids. They need things, want things, destroy things on a daily, hourly, second-by-second basis. What drives me crazy everyday? my kids.
What is my muse? What is the thing I could write about everyday that lots of people would want to read? What can I do that will pay me and fulfill me?
Still searching...
Muse, inspiration, motivation...
My kids could be my muse. They force me to be creative. I have to come up with new ways to get them to cooperate with my plans other than screaming at the top of my lungs. Lately it's been bribery. That does backfire though when they expect a treat every time we go somewhere.
Housework could be my inspiration. I daily think of products that would make my chores easier. Of course, not having to do it at all would be the best!
What drives me everyday? my kids. They need things, want things, destroy things on a daily, hourly, second-by-second basis. What drives me crazy everyday? my kids.
What is my muse? What is the thing I could write about everyday that lots of people would want to read? What can I do that will pay me and fulfill me?
Still searching...
Monday, March 29, 2010
optimism
I don't know why, but I really struggle to be optimistic. Especially when someone is throwing negative crap at me!
Why is it so important to be optimistic? Why does it seem that everything around us has a negative spin? Do I listen to too much news?
Anyone who knows me would find it hard to believe that I think a lot about what I'm going to say before I say it. When I don't, I think about even more after I say it!
It's an internal battle. Say what I feel or think versus say what I want. So often honesty is not the best policy. Nobody wants to hear that you don't like their hair cut or their new blouse. When someone asks you how you are today, they don't want to hear that you're unhappy or you wished you'd stayed in bed. Such a stigma for the depressed!
However, I am not a pessimistic person. I like to be optimistic. I like to find solutions to problems. I think that if I'm putting out some positive energy, I will eventually get more in return. It's not easy for me, though. Sometimes I really have to dig deep.
"If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all." I heard this a lot growing up. I guess I've always been a grumbler. So what do you do if you can't say anything at all and your thoughts are building up until you want to explode? Where does the negativity go? Can we really turn negative thoughts into positive? How?
When someone asks me how I am today, they'll either hear "good" on a good day or "ok" on a bad one. I envy my friends who always say "great!" Seeing the sunny side of life all the time must be wonderful.
Why is it so important to be optimistic? Why does it seem that everything around us has a negative spin? Do I listen to too much news?
Anyone who knows me would find it hard to believe that I think a lot about what I'm going to say before I say it. When I don't, I think about even more after I say it!
It's an internal battle. Say what I feel or think versus say what I want. So often honesty is not the best policy. Nobody wants to hear that you don't like their hair cut or their new blouse. When someone asks you how you are today, they don't want to hear that you're unhappy or you wished you'd stayed in bed. Such a stigma for the depressed!
However, I am not a pessimistic person. I like to be optimistic. I like to find solutions to problems. I think that if I'm putting out some positive energy, I will eventually get more in return. It's not easy for me, though. Sometimes I really have to dig deep.
"If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all." I heard this a lot growing up. I guess I've always been a grumbler. So what do you do if you can't say anything at all and your thoughts are building up until you want to explode? Where does the negativity go? Can we really turn negative thoughts into positive? How?
When someone asks me how I am today, they'll either hear "good" on a good day or "ok" on a bad one. I envy my friends who always say "great!" Seeing the sunny side of life all the time must be wonderful.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Play
I'm taking a crack at writing an article for the Yummy Mummy club (see: www.yummymummyclub.ca) Their theme in May is "Mummy Plays". They don't pay for articles, but it might be a way for me to start writing for "real". Please provide feedback (ie. constructive criticism, typo corrections, general comments, encouragement, etc.)
Here we go...
Silly Mummy, Toys are for kids!
How silly am I? When I go out on a rare shopping trip alone, I usually get what I'm looking for in the first few minutes then spend the rest of the time browsing the toy or kids clothing aisles. When my kids aren't shopping with me, it is a bit of a relief, but even in their absence I'm thinking about them!
And so what if I am? Maybe part of the desire to look through the toy aisle is my own nostalgia and looking at toys for them gives me an excuse to reflect. Remembering the good times I had with my strawberry shortcake dolls, shrinky-dinks or pogo ball. With some rare exceptions, it is hard to recapture the fun I had on the playground with my friends as children. Clothing and accessories just don't do it for me!
Playing with my own kids is rewarding and fun in its own way, but often I'm distracted by safety concerns or what I have to do next (make dinner, do laundry, etc.) It's not as much fun when I'm trying to play in the sandbox with one child while pushing the other on the swing. Sometimes I'm even struck by my own ignorance. How do we play monster trucks?
I haven't yet found a real substitute for playing with toys as an adult (ahem, I don't mean "adult" toys here). Driving a van full of kids around isn't the same as driving a Barbie van full of Barbies to the Barbie house for a pool party with Ken. And home repairs are definitely not as thrilling as building something really cool with blocks.
If I enjoyed sports as a kid, I guess it may be equally as fun to play sports now. However, I didn't and I really don't. Fortunately, my kids are all better with sticks and balls than I ever was and seem satisfied with my feeble efforts to run and kick at the same time.
So why am I attracted to the toy section of the department store? I guess I'm looking for that special toy that will provoke the excitement my kids so easily feel at play. In the meantime, I will continue to follow the lead my children are eager for me to follow and I'll enjoy their toys as much as I can while they'll still share them with me.
Here we go...
Silly Mummy, Toys are for kids!
How silly am I? When I go out on a rare shopping trip alone, I usually get what I'm looking for in the first few minutes then spend the rest of the time browsing the toy or kids clothing aisles. When my kids aren't shopping with me, it is a bit of a relief, but even in their absence I'm thinking about them!
And so what if I am? Maybe part of the desire to look through the toy aisle is my own nostalgia and looking at toys for them gives me an excuse to reflect. Remembering the good times I had with my strawberry shortcake dolls, shrinky-dinks or pogo ball. With some rare exceptions, it is hard to recapture the fun I had on the playground with my friends as children. Clothing and accessories just don't do it for me!
Playing with my own kids is rewarding and fun in its own way, but often I'm distracted by safety concerns or what I have to do next (make dinner, do laundry, etc.) It's not as much fun when I'm trying to play in the sandbox with one child while pushing the other on the swing. Sometimes I'm even struck by my own ignorance. How do we play monster trucks?
I haven't yet found a real substitute for playing with toys as an adult (ahem, I don't mean "adult" toys here). Driving a van full of kids around isn't the same as driving a Barbie van full of Barbies to the Barbie house for a pool party with Ken. And home repairs are definitely not as thrilling as building something really cool with blocks.
If I enjoyed sports as a kid, I guess it may be equally as fun to play sports now. However, I didn't and I really don't. Fortunately, my kids are all better with sticks and balls than I ever was and seem satisfied with my feeble efforts to run and kick at the same time.
So why am I attracted to the toy section of the department store? I guess I'm looking for that special toy that will provoke the excitement my kids so easily feel at play. In the meantime, I will continue to follow the lead my children are eager for me to follow and I'll enjoy their toys as much as I can while they'll still share them with me.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
food
Oh boy, here we go... what is it with food?
Food for thought, food for life, food for fun, food for food's sake, food 'cause it's there in front of me. Food as a substitute for other things. Food!
Life would be simpler and blander without food. It would be both easier and harder. Require less thought, less action yet more of both because it is so much a part of our entertainment. When we gather, we eat. What we eat determines so much, like what we drink and who we're with and what we're doing. Food!
Eat too much, gain weight. Eat the wrong things, gain weight or get sick. Eat the same thing every day, get bored or get sick. Eat nothing, get sick. Eat all the time, gain weight, get sick. Food!
Food for the body. Food for the soul. Food for the laughter. Food for the comfort. Food!
Food for thought, food for life, food for fun, food for food's sake, food 'cause it's there in front of me. Food as a substitute for other things. Food!
Life would be simpler and blander without food. It would be both easier and harder. Require less thought, less action yet more of both because it is so much a part of our entertainment. When we gather, we eat. What we eat determines so much, like what we drink and who we're with and what we're doing. Food!
Eat too much, gain weight. Eat the wrong things, gain weight or get sick. Eat the same thing every day, get bored or get sick. Eat nothing, get sick. Eat all the time, gain weight, get sick. Food!
Food for the body. Food for the soul. Food for the laughter. Food for the comfort. Food!
Monday, March 22, 2010
story
Once upon a time...
It was a dark and stormy night...
In the beginning there was the word...
Is the beginning of the story the most important part? Does it determine how we'll proceed through the middle to the end? If it starts off intense, can be bear the rest of it? If begins boring, are we going to make it to the middle or the end?
Then there's the middle. Does it build to a climatic ending? Does is deliver in-depth character development? Does it lead us to the end? Do we get lost? Do we put it down after each chapter or keep reading til we can't keep our eyes open?
The ending can wrap the story up neatly tying all the loose ends or leave us hanging wanting more. It can make us think for days or weeks or prepare us for the sequel or the movie.
Our lives are stories. We see this literary comparison in so many places. Stories of lives are bestsellers, tabloid covers, documentaries, reality TV. Most of us can't imagine having our lives published. Who would read about us? Who would watch us on TV? youtube and the blogosphere have brought our life stories more closely to public. When we update our status on facebook, we communicate something of our daily story to our friends and family. The plot may be thin, but it fills in over time.
I love to hear people's stories. Some of my favourite programs on the radio (I listen to CBC almost all day when I'm at home) revolve around stories of people's lives: Living Out Loud, the Next Chapter, and anything on Q.
My story began when I was born and developed as I did into a girl, a young woman and now a woman (I won't say older, yet). I was first a baby, then a child, then a teen, then a mom. Now a wife and a mom times 3 (7 if you count the pets and I don't count my husband because that would be too easy for him). I went to school, graduated a few times, worked and then stayed home.
Weaving all these parts together has taken more than 30 years and will take a few more decades before a complete picture appears. I have yet to figure out who authored my story. Some days I think I'm the author and other days I am just a character in someone else's story. Either way, I don't know where the story is going or where it ends.
I'm still not sure whether it's the beginning, middle or end of the story that's the most important.
The plaque on my wall: Home is where your story begins.
It was a dark and stormy night...
In the beginning there was the word...
Is the beginning of the story the most important part? Does it determine how we'll proceed through the middle to the end? If it starts off intense, can be bear the rest of it? If begins boring, are we going to make it to the middle or the end?
Then there's the middle. Does it build to a climatic ending? Does is deliver in-depth character development? Does it lead us to the end? Do we get lost? Do we put it down after each chapter or keep reading til we can't keep our eyes open?
The ending can wrap the story up neatly tying all the loose ends or leave us hanging wanting more. It can make us think for days or weeks or prepare us for the sequel or the movie.
Our lives are stories. We see this literary comparison in so many places. Stories of lives are bestsellers, tabloid covers, documentaries, reality TV. Most of us can't imagine having our lives published. Who would read about us? Who would watch us on TV? youtube and the blogosphere have brought our life stories more closely to public. When we update our status on facebook, we communicate something of our daily story to our friends and family. The plot may be thin, but it fills in over time.
I love to hear people's stories. Some of my favourite programs on the radio (I listen to CBC almost all day when I'm at home) revolve around stories of people's lives: Living Out Loud, the Next Chapter, and anything on Q.
My story began when I was born and developed as I did into a girl, a young woman and now a woman (I won't say older, yet). I was first a baby, then a child, then a teen, then a mom. Now a wife and a mom times 3 (7 if you count the pets and I don't count my husband because that would be too easy for him). I went to school, graduated a few times, worked and then stayed home.
Weaving all these parts together has taken more than 30 years and will take a few more decades before a complete picture appears. I have yet to figure out who authored my story. Some days I think I'm the author and other days I am just a character in someone else's story. Either way, I don't know where the story is going or where it ends.
I'm still not sure whether it's the beginning, middle or end of the story that's the most important.
The plaque on my wall: Home is where your story begins.
Friday, March 19, 2010
independence/independents
Every day I am teaching my kids to be independent. Working toward freedom of dependence on me. It has always seemed important to do this because my ultimate goal of parenthood to to one day be independent myself. That is, free of dependents. Is this attainable?
Eventually my kids will all be able to tie their shoes, do up their zippers, make their own food, wipe their own bums. It's easy to focus on these physical milestones. However, the emotional ones seem so much harder.
Last night, Kenneth got up at midnight and didn't want to go back to bed by himself. I agreed to lie with him until he fell asleep. At 2:30 am, I groggily left his bed and slid into my own. Less than 5 minutes later he followed me, tossing and turning the rest of the night until my alarm woke us at 7 am. Needless to say, we are both tired today. How do I get him to sleep independently? Over the last 5 years, we have followed all the advice of the parenting magazines and books to no avail. He wants to be right beside me!
Morgan used to crawl into bed with me too and now he's a teenager and goes to bed whenever he wants. I'm not sure I like this any better. At least he can go to bed by himself and doesn't require someone to lie with him (hint: it wouldn't be me!) He is actually quite happy to rely on me to make him food and drive him places. He's in no hurry to be independent.
With Lillian, we established independent sleep habits early. It is so nice to put her to bed and walk away. I wonder if she'll be the most independent of our children.
Ironically, it was my fierce independence that drove me into parenthood. I thought I was more grown-up than I was and tried to play the part. So what happens when the goal is reached? When I no longer need to brush their teeth, kiss their ouchies or make them supper. What will I do with my independence? I hope that I'll get a chance to find out before my parents or Frank needs me to look after them!
Eventually my kids will all be able to tie their shoes, do up their zippers, make their own food, wipe their own bums. It's easy to focus on these physical milestones. However, the emotional ones seem so much harder.
Last night, Kenneth got up at midnight and didn't want to go back to bed by himself. I agreed to lie with him until he fell asleep. At 2:30 am, I groggily left his bed and slid into my own. Less than 5 minutes later he followed me, tossing and turning the rest of the night until my alarm woke us at 7 am. Needless to say, we are both tired today. How do I get him to sleep independently? Over the last 5 years, we have followed all the advice of the parenting magazines and books to no avail. He wants to be right beside me!
Morgan used to crawl into bed with me too and now he's a teenager and goes to bed whenever he wants. I'm not sure I like this any better. At least he can go to bed by himself and doesn't require someone to lie with him (hint: it wouldn't be me!) He is actually quite happy to rely on me to make him food and drive him places. He's in no hurry to be independent.
With Lillian, we established independent sleep habits early. It is so nice to put her to bed and walk away. I wonder if she'll be the most independent of our children.
Ironically, it was my fierce independence that drove me into parenthood. I thought I was more grown-up than I was and tried to play the part. So what happens when the goal is reached? When I no longer need to brush their teeth, kiss their ouchies or make them supper. What will I do with my independence? I hope that I'll get a chance to find out before my parents or Frank needs me to look after them!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
the Writer
the Writer looks inside searching for those perfect words to express universal thoughts, feelings, sensations, expectations.
the Writer looks outside searching for inspiration to feed the appetite of self-expression.
the Writer looks to others to research their experiences and their desires for literature.
the Writer looks at the printed word searching for errors, omissions, superfluity.
the Writer knows there is a story before it is written.
the Writer looks outside searching for inspiration to feed the appetite of self-expression.
the Writer looks to others to research their experiences and their desires for literature.
the Writer looks at the printed word searching for errors, omissions, superfluity.
the Writer knows there is a story before it is written.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Memory
I'm either just getting older or I've got too much on my mind! My memory is failing. I forget things. It's really irritating.
Today I forgot at least 2 things that I regret. I forgot to give a little boy his birthday present (he didn't realize I'd forgotten something, but I did) and I forgot to send something to my neighbour when I almost forgot to send her son home! Geez...
One of the blogs I follow is by a scrapbooker (Hi Amanda). She does amazing things with photos, ribbons, etc. She is preserving memories. I must ask her one day where she keeps all the pages she does because it must accumulate pretty quickly.
Memory is a funny thing. It's weird that our memories of events, places and people change over time. The day after we see something or someone, we may remember it vividly. A week later we may not remember it at all.
My longterm memory isn't great either. I know people who can remember each milestone their child achieved and when it happened. It all seems a blur to me!
I hope that my ability to remember doesn't get worse as I get older or at least that I'm not aware of it. I feel so bad when I forget!
Today I forgot at least 2 things that I regret. I forgot to give a little boy his birthday present (he didn't realize I'd forgotten something, but I did) and I forgot to send something to my neighbour when I almost forgot to send her son home! Geez...
One of the blogs I follow is by a scrapbooker (Hi Amanda). She does amazing things with photos, ribbons, etc. She is preserving memories. I must ask her one day where she keeps all the pages she does because it must accumulate pretty quickly.
Memory is a funny thing. It's weird that our memories of events, places and people change over time. The day after we see something or someone, we may remember it vividly. A week later we may not remember it at all.
My longterm memory isn't great either. I know people who can remember each milestone their child achieved and when it happened. It all seems a blur to me!
I hope that my ability to remember doesn't get worse as I get older or at least that I'm not aware of it. I feel so bad when I forget!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Pride
I am so proud of Frank! He is almost finished his MBA. It's been a tremendous amount of work for him and has required much support from his wife! It's not easy to take on extra work and pressure with constantly competing priorities. One more course to go. Good job honey!
It's surprising sometimes to realize what little things can fill you with pride. My kids things daily that I am proud of. Anything from playing alone for more than 5 minutes to accomplishing something new. The things that make me most proud are when they demonstrate that they're developing their "soft skills". Sharing, showing empathy and kindness, etc.
I'm proud of myself, too. Proud that I can honestly say that I stay true to myself. It can be hard to resist outside influences and pressures to do things that I really don't want to do (go back to work for example), but I know that I will look back at this time and be pleased and proud that I chose to stay home.
It's surprising sometimes to realize what little things can fill you with pride. My kids things daily that I am proud of. Anything from playing alone for more than 5 minutes to accomplishing something new. The things that make me most proud are when they demonstrate that they're developing their "soft skills". Sharing, showing empathy and kindness, etc.
I'm proud of myself, too. Proud that I can honestly say that I stay true to myself. It can be hard to resist outside influences and pressures to do things that I really don't want to do (go back to work for example), but I know that I will look back at this time and be pleased and proud that I chose to stay home.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Sun
Light up my face, my life
Brighten my day, my way
Leave the shadows where they fall
Make rainbows in the clouds
Create joy, enlightenment
Let me feel warmth, see sparkles
Dry me off, lift my spirits
Give me energy, help me sleep
Shine
Brighten my day, my way
Leave the shadows where they fall
Make rainbows in the clouds
Create joy, enlightenment
Let me feel warmth, see sparkles
Dry me off, lift my spirits
Give me energy, help me sleep
Shine
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